No big surprise, he refused to sign the final papers, leaving the mediation agreements as if they were hardly relevant. While the retirement is in tact and our daughter is given power to control visitation, the same tired redundant language has reappeared via his lawyers current proposed order. The restraining order is missing, the order to get me off the mortgage is missing, the "consulting with him" has reappeared as has the language that says I will encourage a relationship between them. I am totally neutral in the later and have been since we left. His cruel and manipulative behaviors were the catalyst for our leaving and for DFCS stepping in, the TPO, etc... He has continued the same tone in his visits and conversations with his daughter. he is incapable of getting that she is no longer a naive four year old. She does love him, I am sure, but she does not like him. If he had listened to his own therapist, I have no doubt their relationship could have improved. He is his own worst enemy relationally. I am not his enemy, but I am no longer his enabler and I will not push his daughter into that role. Any empathy must not be expressed to him, because he has and will continue to only view it as an opportunity to manipulate and abuse.
So, it is my guess we will yet again be setting a court date...more time, more dollars and more delay. I hope he does find a girlfriend. I haven't prayed that but only because I can't wish another victim be caught up in his trip. Still, I am convinced that he would quickly sign if he'd secured a new "mark" . There has to be an external motivation for him to sign. He has no inner resources that discourage him from doing unethical or controlling actions and it is my belief that he will continue to delay, as it gives him a false sense of control.
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