Yes, Margaret it is worth risking the pension. Gave her that answer today with some good supporting reasons. I am counting on her honoring my stance with vigor. I may have to do some convincing, but I may as well practice with her as it will soon be before a judge. This time we will have both therapists, due to his delay there are now funds to pay them and give them plenty of time to schedule their participation in the court. It is not about material gain or protection to me, yes it is worth risking my pension to protect my child from further mental cruelty from this man.
Started back today at my original school, winging it. This is not the way I usually proceed. I historically have elaborate well thought out plans. This time I spent my holiday painting, no school work; I truly took a break. I hoped to simply unpack yesterday afternoon and then plan but I was a bit blindsided in that my room was a bit of a mess from multiple folks having used it, taken tables out, chairs missing, stuff that didn't belong etc. I felt weirdly defensive as if "my" space had been violated. The truth is of course that it does not belong to me (although it felt like home more than home for the last 16 years), it is just a room belonging to the school. I think I was also irrationaly hurt that perhaps folks enjoyed my room more than they missed me! AH so there is the rub. I must laugh at my self.
Today was much better with lots of hugs from kids and staff. Yeah, the ones not taking my stuff and using my room did actually seem to miss me. Ho ho ho. I am going to make an effort to move more of my personal things out of the space though. It has taught me, it is not my home and not to get so attached. With the economy as it is, art teachers are becoming an endangered species. So, while I am still employed as an art teacher I will focus on doing my very best with as much joy and gratitude as I can muster. The kids and the art itself make that not so very hard at all.
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