I decided today to allow the TPO to expire, rather than swearing out a new one and the expense and testimony (and drama) that entails, renewing it quietly is not an option. The Judge said I have certain protections that still stand in the temporary divorce agreement. I have decided to give him the opportunity to behave and demonstrate respect for that order. If he encroaches, I will address it by swearing out a new TPO. I am not comfortable with him getting his guns back, but I will try to remember that he didn't like jail and that murdering me simply would not fit into this delusional script he is acting out attempting to portray himself as the misunderstood victim. I also recall him saying many times how he liked the idea that his ex-wife would be always looking over her shoulder in fear of his retaliation. While I intend to continue using all safety precautions I have learned from the council, I do not want fear to dominate my life anymore. And there is a gut feeling I have that tells me showing less fear might also deflate his motivation to attempt to use it continually.
So, after Wednesday we shall see how this proceeds. Thursday I expect my attorney will be filing another contempt charge, as that is the only thing that seems to get him to write his small child support check. If he decides to ramp up then I imagine that might do it. But, he is going to get a chance here to show what his mouth says. We'll see what he does with it.
I am teaching in Lavonia through March. Our "new" hearing date isn't until April, but his lawyer requested a mediation prior to trial which the judge ordered, more dollars, more delay. Meantime, I will watch my back carefully, always keep the alarm on, and always have my cellphone close by. If he does "act out" it will only make a stronger case for the permanent restraining order I want in the final decree. I am beginning to see these sometimes strange twists are God yet working stuff out for Sarah and I. So, I will pray lots and trust lots.
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