Another Letter Arrives/Same Tone

  I was pleased to receive some back child support and even more when the checks were "good". But, just like the last time, He can not resist an effort to manipulate. This time the letter was much longer and he asserted that he "would not have law enforcement at his house again" and that he would not be paying any towards our daughter's therapy and that he would not be paying but 40% on the back medical (and he conveniently left off a chunk of even that. Then there was much pleading for my forcing his daughter to see him and his mother, etc...

  I am so grateful that I know what I now know of his personality disorder. If I hadn't just lived through ten years of abusive behaviors and another 18 months of his lying and greed in the divorce procedings, I might just see only what I would have "wanted" to see in his words. But through the lens of knowledge, I now clearly recognize the hallmark words of the narcissist. It is never about anyone else, it is always and forever about him.

  He asked in his letter if I were trying to "ruin him emotionally and financially". I find this so characteristic of his flipping HIS behaviors onto his victims. Seriously? I am filing for bankruptcy due to marital debts for actual assets that he has possession of and my daughter and I live an austerity life style while he wines and dines on the lake, puffed up with his take? Seriously? He is reaping more than he has ever sown. Only one thing he no longer possesses and that is US. He did not care enough then and I have no doubt the only reason he sent any checks at all is because he knows he is in contempt of court and could be arrested. There is nothing I have ever seen him do in the last ten years that didn't have more to do with himself than others.

  He talks of God and changes he's made? Really? And yet there is still denial and blame and no taking of responsibility what so ever, except as mandated by the court and then only enough he "thinks" to keep his head above water.

I will not take the bait and respond to him, except as to clarification of his financial obligations to his daughter. I in fact do still pray for him to have a 'breakthrough', but I will not inform him of even that gesture as any slight sign of compassion on my part is read as a weakness to be abused by him.