Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well-pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.
Source: cyber hymnal (googled) Author Katharina A. von Schegel 1752
We sang this at church this morning and it moved me to tears. God helped me today release a lot of hurt towards a couple of folks in my church family that really hurt my daughter (who though she once so loved being in this fold has mostly chosen to stay away now rarely going with me). I saw her Father persecute our faith and she stood firm. But I saw her heart break when one she respected belittled her and shunned her at church, another church member has always been mean to her (though never in my presence) and has been even worse to her at school. It isn't particularly personal, she actually treats most kids rather harshly. I have struggled for nearly a year with trying to forgive these people for the harm they have added with their careless behavior actually turning off my child to church (not God) fellowship at a time in our life where we really needed our church family. But today I felt that God was telling me to "forgive them for they know not what they do". He certainly must know the pain of watching ignorant and careless people slander, persecute, and crucify his son. And yet His son asked God the Father to forgive them. I felt a weight rise from my heart today which was filled with compassion for those that hurt my child and me. That voice in my heart that for months struggled to not "get in their face" like an angry Peter might have done or simply avoided seeing any of them and attended a different service, where I knew I was with brethren who loved me and my child...was let go of today.
I am assured that God knows the truth and the truth in my heart. I do not need anymore to worry what people who are so clueless or misled by the enemy, think of me or my child. I can love them in Christ irregardless of what they feel towards me or how they may act. God loved me when I was pretty clueless. If I allow my abuser to leave this scar between my church family and myself, then it is little difference than all the other years of "allowing" his behaviors to manipulate my life. I have followed my brother's advice to not run around trying to counter all of the now ex's lies and deceptions. I have kept my silence, except when necessary for legal proceedings. Only a few trusted friends and family know the very true ugly story I lived. And it is true that in the short term, when one doesn't counter the liar people who do not have any previous experience with your character might then wonder? I have grown and remember Christ when brought before Pilot asked simply, "Who do YOU say I am?" In relationships that matter most to me, my Life must be the best answer. I have grown a thicker skin. I trust my Savior more than ever, not because I am good enough or strong enough, or brave enough for I clearly am not. But this Savior is all of that and more and He has kept His promises to me. He told me to go and he would be with Me. He did NOT say it would be easy but He did say He would Deliver my child and I from evil and He has and continues to do it over and over.
Today I lived that formula from Dr. Cloud: Grace+Truth+TIME= Healing. The ones I have forgiven do not even know it. You see they don't own that they even hurt us at all. Perhaps God will choose to reveal it to them in time, maybe one day they will even apologize (I have accepted that is unlikely however and is not a condition of my forgiving them). In their eyes they probably didn't see the change in my heart today, as I have attempted to be polite and when it hurt too much I just went to a different service.
In fact, I had been doing that for quite some time now. I overslept and that is why I wound up at the traditional service with those I needed to forgive. This hymn just reached into my soul as it acknowledged my pain (didn't tell me to "not feel it") and then quietly reassured me all would be okay. I can be still. I then rush home all eager to look this up and request the couple who do Hymn A Week on FB would consider taping it and they had posted it just an hour earlier! Now, that was a crazy kind of God cool! Several hours later I heard the very same HYMN playing from the church down the block. Three times. Amazing blessed musical God hug OXOX <><
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