Stepping Out Alone

  I went to the play today and was so glad. The play itself was good, not the awesome one of the first season, but it was still worth while. I walked through all the emotions of remembering happy times during those 17 weeks our family participated. It was a bit of an ouch when I saw they had the old moonshine songs and dialog put back into this play. While they all did a good job, I had to say that sadly the ex really had done the role much better. I am guessing that like Charlie Sheen one sees great talent for performing may in fact be reflecting years of being "on stage" in everyday life, so maybe no wonder he could so effectively work and audience and was so happy when literally the center of those stages. He is in fact a very talented actor.
   I also have to say I fondly enjoyed remembering having seen my daughter truly shine in that first play, with four speaking roles and even a little solo. Still my favorite moment was always the last grand finale song where she and her friend Chevonne would be gleefully clapping and singing as they worked the choreography. They still sing that particular song, there were fewer cast members and there seemed to be less strength in the voices but it could be that many just weren't there today. I still found it more happy than sad. Perhaps that is what bittersweet means.
  I loved seeing the kids, students, and former students in the cast. Just seeing the joy on their face as they saw me sitting there was worth the price of the ticket. It is good to know as my daughter is growing up and off doing her own thing and I am now mostly alone, that my presence does matter to some people still. It was good to be greeted and hugged by folks in this cast who remember me from the first play (four summers ago now). I had already been making myself go and do things alone, like eating out, church, etc...but this was more difficult. There was the likelihood that the one couple in my former town who chose to befriend him would still be in the play...surprise apparently not this year for the first time. I think if my daughter had known that she just might have gone with me. Their choices really hurt her. And then there is the palsy face thing, whew going out weird face and all. But, it was okay. It really was okay, even enjoyable. I needed that.