Seriously now, stop beating your self up over being you. It is good to take responsibility for that which you are clearly responsible for, but baby you ain't God, you can't save yourself much less anyone else. All you can do is keep moving forward, loving as best you can, thinking as clearly as possible, listening with discernment, crying when you need to, saying "no" when you need to, laughing as often as is possible, and letting your creator speak into and through your life. Stop worrying so much about who other people think you are, the ones that matter most already know your heart and love you flaws and all. The ones that don't see you truly, never will. It is more important that you live this one day in gratitude for what it is, rather than insisting on carrying around the baggage of your many mistakes. Grace means that it is done, forgiven, lesson learned, get on with it. Faith means letting go of trying to control future outcomes and listening this one day, as best you can, trusting that your creator has your back.
So you've come to see that you have been "stupid" and we know you don't like stupid. I seem to recall a story your Grandma told about a kid crying and throwing up every day in first grade. You came home and shared it telling her "Well I'd rather be at home too, but you can't go around stupid all your life." Ah it hasn't changed really. All prefer the comfort of home, but there are lessons to be learned that can only be learned walking through the fire kiddo. When it is your time to return home, you will have learned a few things!
No comments:
Post a Comment